these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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