I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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