If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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