Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
