He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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