Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
