Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
