false alarm. still invincible.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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