soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize