I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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