Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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