It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
