I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
