Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
