Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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