dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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