Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
