Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
