Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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