You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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