how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
