I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I checked into jail on foursquare
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
