I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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