I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
