Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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