i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
