I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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