..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
