He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
