piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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