The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
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