dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
