so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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