What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
