but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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