my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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