No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
