Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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