How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize