Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
