I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
