last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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