Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
