I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
