Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.

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(559): View more from California

I queefed so loud it echoed.

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(317): View more from Indiana

The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic

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(716): View more from New York

just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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(817): View more from Texas

did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

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(303): View more from Colorado

as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.

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(425): View more from Washington

On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?

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