how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
