some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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