Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize