am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
