Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
