If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
