I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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