you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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