Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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