Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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