So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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