I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
