Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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