Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize