I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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